Family intervention
When someone close to you won’t hear of treatment
The person who contacts me is usually someone close: a mother, a father, a brother or sister, a friend, sometimes an employer.
Most calls come after it has become clear how serious the situation is. Often you’ve already tried to talk about it, and run into a wall of denial and resistance.
I know the state people are in when they make this call: frightened and afraid, with a tension felt in every cell of the body, lost and at their wits’ end. You’re looking for someone to show you the way. That’s what I’m here for.
What happens from the moment you call
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A phone call
I get a general picture of the situation, make an initial assessment of the level of risk, and hear what you’ve already tried.
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A consultation meeting, everyone together
All the close and significant people come, the ones who have influence. Each person shares what they know, and we get everyone on the same page: everyone hears everything. I assess the level of risk, the severity of use, and the treatment options that would suit that person in their situation.
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Choosing a path
I present the intervention options and explain what each one means, what the chances are and what the risks are. We think together about what suits the situation and your strengths. You decide, not me.
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A written agreement
Before we start, we sign a written agreement. It aligns expectations about the process and its outcomes, and defines my responsibilities and yours in every part of the intervention. I guide, accompany and advise, but I don’t decide for you.
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Getting going
In the following sessions I prepare you for the intervention meeting, or begin working with you in an ongoing process.
You’re not left alone between sessions. Throughout the intervention I’m available for consultation, by message and by phone. It’s part of the process, and included in the fee.
Two ways to intervene
No single approach suits every family. These are the two approaches I work with.
An intervention meeting
In the style of Johnson and Love FirstOne meeting, carefully planned and well prepared. The people close to them gather, and each one reads to the person they love a letter written in advance: what they see, how much it hurts, how much they love them, and what they’re asking. The request is to begin treatment that has already been arranged.
Usually the person is invited to the meeting openly and knows what will be discussed. Sometimes the meeting is held as a surprise, though this is less recommended. From the consultation meeting to the intervention takes anywhere from a few days to a few weeks.
If they don’t agree to treatment, consequences decided on in advance are put in place. These aren’t punishments: their purpose is for the family to stop cooperating with the addiction and enabling it, and with the harm they are doing to themselves and to others. If they don’t come to the meeting, the intervention goes ahead without them: the prepared messages are passed on to them and the consequences are put in place.
An ongoing process
Using the CRAFT methodThere’s no single meeting here. Over a series of 12 to 15 sessions, you learn to change what happens day to day: how to talk so that you’re heard, how to reinforce moments without use, how to stop absorbing the costs of use, and how to recognize the right moment to suggest treatment. It’s a slower path, without confrontation, and it strengthens you too.
How the person is invited to treatment depends on the path you choose. I explain the differences, the chances and the risks at the consultation meeting, before you decide.
Good to know in advance
What if they get angry?
The fear that they’ll be angry, or that the relationship will be damaged, is understandable and reasonable. It certainly can happen. But it has to be weighed against the alternative, which is far worse.
When an intervention meeting isn’t suitable
When there is a serious risk of suicide, when there is an acute mental state such as active psychosis, when the risk is too high, or when the person isn’t in a condition that allows them to take part in such a meeting.
In these situations, a different kind of intervention is used, without confrontation and without ultimatums.
Frequently asked questions
They won’t hear of treatment. Is there any point in contacting you?
Yes. In family intervention, the work starts with the family, even before the person themselves agrees to anything.
And you’re not the only ones reaching out this way: at addiction helplines, between a third and a half of contacts come from someone worried about another person, not from the person themselves (Ireland, 2024 (opens in a new tab); JMIR, 2025 (opens in a new tab)).
How do we get them into treatment when they don’t want it?
You can’t force someone to want it. But you can help them reach a point where they want it enough to agree, and that’s where you come in.
You have influence. When you position yourselves toward them more precisely and handle things the right way, you’ll be able to influence them.
Will they know we contacted you?
For now, they don’t need to know. The work starts with you.
What if we disagree among ourselves about what to do?
We can’t move forward without everyone’s agreement, and I help you reach it.
What happens after they agree to treatment?
I continue to support you, in a somewhat different format. First, to help them stay in treatment if difficulties come up and they want to leave. And also to help you move from a confronting stance, which suits the intervention stage, to a supportive stance, which suits the start of recovery.
Is what’s said in therapy confidential?
As a social worker, I am bound by a duty of confidentiality set in law. It covers what is said in therapy and also the very fact that you contacted me, except in exceptional cases defined by law.
Get in touch
You can ask for help before you hit rock bottom. For yourself, or for someone close to you.
I’m available every day of the week. If I’m in a session and can’t answer, leave a message, and I always get back to you the same day.
A first call of 10 to 15 minutes, free of charge.
All the ways to reach me, and details about sessions
This website and my phone are not an emergency service. In a life-threatening emergency in Israel, call Magen David Adom (MDA) on 101.